Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Since the newest incarnation of this series was god awful, I decided to go back to a simpler time. The first attempt at bringing this series to the big screen with "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" from 1990. The synopsis of this movie is simple enough. Four turtles are covered in radioactive waste and become humanoid, then are taught ninjutsu by a rat who adopts them. A reporter named April O Neil (Judith Hoag) is attacked by a gang of ninja thugs called the foot clan, then is brought to the sewers by the turtles to recover. The foot clan is comprised of a bunch of runaway youths commanded by a powerful ninjustsu master The Shredder (James Saito man in the suit, David McCharen the voice). The turtles are forced into combat when Shredder goes on the offensive and takes their master.

Call me a bit too nostalgic but I love this movie. It still holds up today regardless of that overwhelming 1990 feel of the film. It obviously wasn't a perfect movie, but that is the great part of this series it doesn't have to be perfect for people to like it and for it to hit home with all generations. The story line is simple but effective, the action was well choreographed, the suits (while being obviously suits) were well designed by Jim Henson, the jokes were funny without having to go too far in either direction, and the acting was actually good. Everything the new movie basically isn't. Yes, this movie had it's share of flaws. It is time-stamped with hairstyles and fashions that will not register with some of today's kids or make adults feel a cringe of embarrassment, the story with the young kid running away from his father felt out of place, and the moments of slap stick seemed like cheap ploys. Despite all of that I still love it because (much like another recent movie) you are having too much fun with the film to notice until much later. Plus, Casey Jones is still my favorite character from this series.

The story line here is the basic set up of four weird, powerful teenagers are forced into combat by a much older, more powerful man in order to save their father/master. It is disposable, but simple enough (for it's time) to register with audiences and not make us hate it. This is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, I am not looking for new and thought provoking, I am looking for something basic that makes sense (looking at you new movie). Since my biggest problem with the new movie was the story line that copied more popular movies, and bored us to tears, while still not making a whole lot of sense this one wins out. I like the back story of the turtles being something basic that I could get behind. I like the relationship with April O' Neil not being some cross species turn on. I like that they got the personalities right and even though Raphael took most of the screen time, the other turtles still didn't feel like set pieces. This story just worked, it didn't do anything new but it definitely didn't do anything wrong.

The fight scenes in this were impressive for people wearing (what seems like) heavy suits. You can see that the people in them might actually know a thing or two about martial arts. The final battle scene had just the right amount of drama, combined with good "final battle music" for me to call it a classic among final battle scenes. You get (or have already been) emotionally invested enough in the characters to really root for them and hope everything works out.

The acting in this may have an air of cheesy camp, but it was still good enough. There wasn't any over acting to make our eyes roll, there wasn't deliberately bad acting to make this too campy. It was just fair enough. We haven't really heard from any of the actors since this movie was released but I think that is a shame (except a very young Sam Rockwell, he's definitely still around). Judith Hoag was just the right amount of April O Neil, Elias Koateas is just the right amount of Casey Jones, everyone just seems to fit.

The biggest thing you have to remember when watching this movie is that it was made in 1990. The music is going to be old (but good), the hairstyles/fashions are going to be wacky (still bad), the production quality is going to look a little more shitty, and there is no CGI (which helps it escape it's time bubble a bit). With all of this in mind you are still going to have fun introducing a movie like this to your kids, and re-watching it yourself. It will wash the bad taste of this past weekend's disaster out of your mind and help you brace for the sequel.

Final Verdict: 4 out of 5 The best this series has given us, and still fun to watch. The time stamp on this movie doesn't stop it from being good, and it reminds us that we could have seen a good movie from the people in charge of the new movie (ya know, if the people in charge were different).